Watching the World Cup from the comfort of your sofa

12-01-2010 18:31 (0 comments)

The good old sofa is the answer to crowded pubs

Anyone of an advanced age will probably be looking forward to the World Cup Finals with a mixture of anticipation and dread. Anticipation because the event is a truly global experience, and dread because the country goes nuts for a month or as long as England stay in the competition.

 

Soon it won’t be long before you can’t move for St George flags, banners and hats, articles all headlined “This is our year” (for examples see 2006, 2002, 1998 etc etc), and TV programmes setting the scene for a frenzied few weeks.

 

That’s all good and well because the whole event gets this stuff out of our systems for a few years before we return to our lives. It’s the release from the humdrum we all occasionally need. ‘Letting your hair down’ is a classic British reaction to pressure and there will be plenty of that and more during the tournament.

 

The question is: what do you do if you want to avoid the crowded pubs and the hordes of drunks who emerge like locusts once the football kicks off? Is there an alternative to fighting your way to the bar and squinting at a TV screen in the distance?

 

The good old sofa is the answer. No more peering around people who are taller than you. The beers are ready and waiting in the fridge. You can relax – at least until the inevitable penalty shoot out starts – as long as you have the right sofa.

 

So what makes a good sofa for the World Cup? Here are some pointers:

 

·        The sofa should be long enough to comfortably accommodate three people and their drinking arms.

·        It should be light enough to move around your living room just in case you want a different angle on the game.

·        Your sofa should be sturdy and well built, capable of coping with frequent movement from over-excited people.

·        Cushions are optional – leave some lying around just in case your guests are nervous during extra time or penalties.

·        It is recommended that your sofa be manufactured from waterproof materials to combat spillage. If this is impossible, invest in some can holders for either end.

·        Try to avoid colours which may suggest you support anyone other than England. Yellow (Brazil) and blue (Argentina) could cause tension.

 

So there you have it. Follow these light-hearted tips for a stress-free World Cup spent basking in the comfort of your own sofa. Just don’t tell everyone or you might not get a seat for the big match. 


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